Valentine’s Day 2018 has just ended and it reminded me of how I used to be.
I used to crave romance. I wanted someone to worship me. I wanted to be put on a pedestal. I wanted the heart-rending passion that came with a strong connection. I wanted to be pursued by someone I loved/was attracted to. I wanted men to dream about me and crave me. It was all about me, really.
When I look back, I can see that it was just a function of the ego – the part of the ego that wants validation and wants other people to worship it. In essence, it is not a very healthy way to be.
And it gives our power away to the other person. When all your fantasies rely on someone else doing something (in this case, the other person pursuing/craving/wanting/lusting), it is not from the soul. This kind of need is from the ego. And you give your power away to them. You’re no longer centred.
What can we do to get out of this mode?
As always… the answer is energy work and getting rid of our blocked emotional luggage. If you’re not sure where to start, read this.
So, Valentine’s Day 2018 was quite different for me from Valentine’s Day 2017. Last year I was craving soul mate number 2. I was constantly wondering whether he would contact me (he didn’t), and I was unhealthily consulting the tarot, asking what was happening with him. It is the biggest connection I have had. He ran (and got engaged to someone else). Once again, what I “needed” (the relationship and the worshipping) was taken away from me… and it showed me that I really didn’t need it to begin with.
This year, I barely gave Valentine’s Day a second thought. After tightening up my energy work disciplines (you can read about that here), I am better than ever. I no longer crave a relationship or the thrills associated with it – I can now see that this is just an unhealthy function of the ego. I am just happy and powerful being me, without needing anyone else worshipping me. Just as the universe intended…