Energy work, Soul connections, soul mate, twin flame, Uncategorized

Love = pain?

Most of you will say that love is painful. And I would have agreed with you a few years ago.

The soul-wrenching pain that occurs when you separate from a soul mate seems to point to that correlation.

BUT it is actually not true.

Love and pain do not go together – NEED and pain go hand in hand,

When you NEED someone, that’s where the pain is… because need is a two-way street. You need the other person to reciprocate. However, when you love someone (minus that need), it is just love… there is actually no pain involved.

So, how do we achieve this love without need? As always, the answer is ENERGY WORK. When we choose the right energy techniques, we can remain balanced and a byproduct of this is that we don’t need anything from anyone – including reciprocal love/need. We just learn to live inside that love.

Energy work, Uncategorized

We cannot control emotions. They control us

Emotions are our soul… they are the energy that lives on after our body dies. And they are the universe’s way of guiding us. Have you ever heard the term “gut feeling”? Well that’s your emotions/energy/soul, and sometimes it is the universe guiding us through these feelings.

So, feeling each emotion fully is vital to emotional health, and indeed spiritual evolution. If we are balanced and are listening to our inner instincts, we will progress quicker through what we need to learn.

We cannot avoid emotions. They are part of us. Instead, we must learn to ride the emotional waves and not get drowned.

And to do that, we need to learn energy work techniques.

dating, Uncategorized

Needing to be needed

I once met a guy online. On the surface, he seemed “enlightened”. He was a Buddhist and helped people for a living. We got chatting and we got along. We arranged to meet for coffee, but the only time we could meet was two weeks later due to conflicting schedules.

Once we’d set the date, I went along with life, looking forward to our coffee. He sent me “hey how’s your day been” messages twice a day, which was fine to begin with… I love a conversation but it has to have a point to it. I would answer by dropping some ‘conversation starters’, but he wouldn’t take the bait. The conversation was to stay at the ultra-superficial “hey was your day” level. His answer to me was usually “yeah, pretty good”. I wasn’t able to take the conversation any further despite my own carefully crafted questions.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a few days, but this trend continued. There was no actual ‘getting to know each other’. It was just checking in. Twice a day. Same cycle.

I realised that he was actually very ‘needy’ and he needed to keep letting me know that he was still around. Because the date was so far in the future, he was ‘keeping his foot in the door’.

But his neediness drove me away. I ended up dreading his messages because they were just stroking his ego. He needed to be needed.

In the end, I realised I had a choice: I could either let him carry on this tedious check-in twice a day or I could maintain my boundaries by telling him that I wasn’t enjoying the check-in and that by all means, I would love to move the conversation to something more ‘real’.

So I told him, in the nicest, warmest, politest way possible. And he blocked me.

Which in the end, was fine… it was a blessing… it saved me from a date which would probably have gone nowhere. And I learnt something from it, and perhaps he did too.


Soul connections, soul mate, twin flame, Uncategorized

Sleepless in Seattle 2 and soul connections: What happened next?

I’ve just rewatched the movie Sleepless in Seattle for the first time since it came out in 1993. When I first watched it I was in high school and I had not yet experienced a soul connection, so for me this was the first time I had watched it since having experienced some powerful connections of my own.

I was stunned at how accurate the portrayal of a soul connection (twin flame, whatever you want to label it) was.

It portrayed all the synchronicities (those “meaningful coincidences”) that showed Sam and Annie that they were dealing with something extraordinary.

It portrayed how they loved each other before they had even met.

It portrayed how even though they had not met, they were obsessed with each other. They couldn’t stop thinking about each other! They thought they were crazy.

It portrayed how even Sam’s son was instrumental in them meeting (which happened to me with my own son).

It portrayed how when they finally did meet face to face, no words were needed – they just started at each other in awe. Yep, been there…

But the movie finishes as soon as they meet for the first time. So, what would have happened next?

Based on what usually happens with these connections – and remembering that we only meet soul connections/twin flames when it is time to CHANGE because we’ve got serious lessons to learn –  this is how Sleepless in Seattle 2 would have gone down:

Sam and Annie would have had a blissful few months together. They would have realised they just “knew” each other. They would have felt like “home” for each other. The sex would have been out of this world.

They also would have triggered each other. All their fears would have come up. It would have been like looking in a mirror, and maybe sometimes they wouldn’t like what they saw.

Just when things were going SO WELL, just when the love was growing stronger and stronger (despite them feeling it couldn’t possibly get any more wonderful/passionate), BOOM! One of them would have freaked out and RAN AWAY.

Let’s say it was Sam who ran. All his fears would have come up – his fear of abandonment (his wife had died, after all), his feeling that he was not good enough for Annie… that she deserved more (because he feels he’s not worthy of her), his feeling of loss of control (this is the big one!!) Sam feels like he cannot control his emotions – they are so huge. So he DOES A RUNNER.

Annie is left shocked. What was wrong with Sam? Didn’t he love her?? Did he just lie about his feelings all this time?

His actions said he didn’t care, but in her heart she knew he did.

So she tries to pull him… tries to get him to come back. He comes back for a time, but the same thing happens again. He freaks out and RUNS. This time for good… he won’t answer any of Annie’s calls.

Months have gone by. Sam has not said a word. So Annie starts to go a little crazy. Her heart says Sam loves her but her head says “but he has gone!” Annie begins to consult psychics and fortune tellers, hoping that she can gain some control over the situation. And trying to get to the bottom of Sam’s behaviour. One fortune teller will say “oh he loves you, he is coming back!” The next fortune teller says “he doesn’t care about you”. What???

Then Annie makes a discovery – she finds out that Sam is dating another woman and has asked her to marry him!

Annie finally falls into a big pit of despair. She hits rock bottom. Everything she has ever dreamt of has been ripped away from her. Her chance to be happy with her one and only twin flame/soul mate is gone. Everything she thought she needed had been taken away from her.

She continues to seek out fortune tellers. They keep giving her mixed messages. She is finding it hard to function. She is not really “living”, just existing.

Sleepless in Seattle 2 can span YEARS if Annie doesn’t do what she needs to do (that is, learn her lesson). It can turn into Groundhog Day if she’s not careful. If Annie doesn’t find out what HER problem is (because both sides of the connection will have BIG LESSONS to learn – that’s why they met), she will be stuck and will be spending her time in spiritual forums, forever seeking answers…

However, we can progress on to the next movie, Sleepless in Seattle 3, if she seeks REAL help and makes some big changes.

Annie can consult someone who can read energy and tell her what her KARMA or LESSON is! She can then learn some energy techniques to transcend her issues. Then she will be happy and free!

Let’s say Annie’s lesson is that she has CONTROL issues. She has always been so controlling in every part of her life. Society will even tell us that this is a “good” thing, but this is not actually true. Annie controls to the extent that she needs to avoid many situations in order to maintain control, because otherwise she cannot handle the emotions that the lack of control brings up. If Annie does energy work that deals with those emotions, she won’t need to control (lesson learnt).

Suddenly, she doesn’t pine for Sam so much. Wow… she isn’t always thinking about him! Wow… she can’t feel him so much any more! Wow… she is living in the moment! Wow.. she doesn’t NEED him any more!!

So Annie has found happiness from within… which is often why we are sent these types of connections. The universe takes away what we think we need… until we discover that we didn’t need it after all.

After she has done the work, maybe Sam will come back declaring his undying love for her. Or maybe he won’t. Either way, Annie is happy and is whole within herself and no longer spends her time looking for answers, or hiding away in spiritual forums. She no longer needs answers… because the answer is herself.




Energy work, Soul connections, soul mate, twin flame, Uncategorized

Guilty of being swayed by looks

I am going to be very honest here. I have a history of putting up with bad behaviour if the guy is hot.


Yes… it is true, and I have only just realised it and changed my ways!

Looking back, one of my soul connections a couple of years ago treated me badly (lying, having a wife and not telling me – heck, he had a pregnant wife and didn’t tell me). And I was still tempted to jump into his bed. Why? Because he was actually the hottest man I had ever seen.

In the end, sense and boundaries prevailed – I sent him packing and didn’t dally with him once I found out he had a wife. But oh man was I tempted…

Then, along came HUGE soul connection #2 (many would call him my twin flame but I don’t do labels), and it was clear that the feelings were HUGE between us… but he also treated me badly. He had a fiancee in the background and didn’t tell me. And it was SO tempting to let these things slide when you’re in the throes of NEED. Needing a relationship with them…

It’s only since I refreshed my energy work disciplines that I no longer need him, and can see what he was doing – keeping all his options open but at the same time, taking away the options of everyone else (myself and his fiancee) by not being honest about the  situation.

Some unscrupulous hot guys (and girls) are used to getting what they want and they can often treat people poorly – because we let them! Our egos like being with someone attractive and sometimes we will bend the rules (and our boundaries) for them so we can lap up a bit more of it. The same goes for soul connections/twin flames/insert misleading label. We WANT to be with them so we put up with more… but in doing this, we GIVE OUR POWER AWAY. We become impotent and we slowly start to rely on them for our happiness. But happiness can only come from within, not from outside (eg relationship, job, situation, material things).

I have recently had a chance to assert my newly strengthened boundaries. I was chatting to a hot guy and it became clear he just wanted some gratification (“send me a pic”). Ummm NO thanks. I’m looking for something deeper.



And he’s gone…

Good 🙂


Energy work, Soul connections, soul mate, twin flame, Uncategorized

STOP the twin flame misery

I am feeling so frustrated. I just visited a spiritual forum and read a few posts written by people who have experienced a big connection (call it what you will, twin flame etc). And they are still clinging to the connection and pining for the relationship. It made me frustrated, since it doesn’t have to be that way! Each of us is whole… each of us has everything we need inside ourselves to be happy and fulfilled. It’s just that sometimes the universe sends us someone who seems to be the answer to all our prayers… they give us the love and relationship we’ve been dreaming of, but then the universe takes them away (eg running). But it takes the person away for a very important reason – it makes us look deep inside ourselves to find those answers, to find that what we’ve been looking for all along has been inside us the whole time.

If you truly want to heal, this is what you can do:

1. Ditch the twin flame label – it’s not helpful and will only limit your experience.

2. Go out there and find someone who will teach you energy disciplines so you can balance yourself – you don’t need to depend on a healer for this as a matter of routine. That’s dependency and heck, animals don’t depend on others to remove their emotional junk. They self-heal! And so did we… until society taught us that we shouldn’t feel certain things… then we start to block…

For my recommendation, see here.

3. Stop reading spiritual material – it just feeds the ego and stops us from tapping into our instincts. Animals and kids don’t need to “understand” and neither does your energy.In fact, filling the brain will stop you from living in the moment and being happy.

4. Start living again and enjoy!